Self-care or Self-preservation?

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I hear terms like self-care, me-time, self-love, mom-cation, and all the fun synonyms often.  Sometimes I scroll and see them every other post.  In normal circumstances it can be difficult for the main caregiver to allow a break for themselves.  But caregivers are always doing just that, giving.  Giving time, giving an ear, giving a hug, giving a plate of food, giving a clean home, giving a bath to a child, giving a walk to the dog.  Giving, giving, giving.  But so often the caregiver doesn’t take time to give to themselves.  We reason we’re busy, the kids need new shoes, we must be present for the family all waking hours.  So it’s almost like we are programmed that anything with the word self or me in the title is selfish and shameful.  And honestly, I don’t know why.  My hubby has never demanded these things of me, it’s like some weird pre-programmed woman brain thing.

I’ve heard the cliche, “you can’t pour from an empty cup,” more times that I can count on both hands just in the last week.  But even with the wave of empowerment being thrown around, so many caregivers still don’t take time to refill their cup.  We then get rundown, angry, resentful, tired, develop depression and anxiety, or are just numb to everything.  I myself have been known to overschedule and stay busy from the time my feet hit the floor until my hubby is literally shutting my laptop on my hands telling me to go to bed.  It took some time and a few panic attacks but I finally realized it’s ok to just be.  Not be busy, but just be.

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Now, needing a few minutes is not the same as wanting to abandon all responsibilites.  And I can’t speak for other moms, but I have never looked at either of my children or said audibly enough for them to hear that mommy needs a break.  I think that judgy folks who read women venting on social media about needing a break assuming their kids know is just rude.  The reason moms turn to social media to vent is because the vast majority of their kids aren’t on social media and in some cases not old enough to read so it’s their way of getting out the frustration so that they DON’T tell their kids they need a break.  We are all “trapped” or “lucky enough to be safely home” right now, regardless of how you want to put it.  Whether you are “safe at home” or an essential worker, it’s safe to say most people are feeling more stress than normal right now with the pandemic and we should not be throwing shame at eachother.

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So, to help you learn to preserve your sanity, here are a few tips to help you unwind that won’t take your whole day but still let you feel like you had a little break and can refresh and recharge and maybe help you deal with the stress just a tad better:

Have an at-home mini pedi!  I love my foot spa.  Here is an inexpensive one I found online and I am not getting paid on this, just helping you find a nice one that won’t break the bank!  It’s easy to setup and is super relaxing.  I can have a glass of wine or read a book while my feet soak!  The soak alone is very relaxing.  I love my water super hot and I add epsom salts for a little razzle dazzle!  I love keeping paint on my toes and I love the gel finish polish for a nice look without all the work of gel.  For a quick at-home pedi I don’t bust out all the tools but will finish with a nice foot cream.

Face masks are the jam.  Some stay on longer than others and some peel off while others rinse off.  There are oodles and oodles of masks but I am sure to use ones that are suited for my skin type and serve a purpose.  It makes me feel less guilty about my “me-time.” Again, I totally know we shouldn’t feel guilty so don’t get your panties in a bunch, it’s a joke.  But with skincare you do want to be sure the products work for you and make you feel good all at the same time!  Two of my favs are the Warming Vit C Peel, which doesn’t stay on long but feels so dang good and leaves my skin so soft and glowly, and the Charcoal Mask Stick, which does stay on while drying, has a pleasant smell, and leaves my skin fresh, clean, and smooth!

 

Read a book!  If you have been wanting a new read, you can download books to your device with the Kindle App, and the books are very inexpensive or sometimes free!  You can also order books for home delivery and Amazon offers pretty fast shipping.  I read for business a lot, so when I want to unwind I go for trashy romance or love stories!  Nothing too serious for me when I want to rest to my brain, but it’s completely up to you!  Some folks enjoy personal development books in their free time and that is a great way to use your special time to grow.  Just make sure it’s one you want to read and find a cozy spot that can provide enough light so you don’t strain your eyes and has little to no noise!  If you need to lay the kids down a little early (or persuade the hubby to handle it one night) that is totally ok!  If the kids are older, tell them you’re going to read and would like a little quiet time and head to your room and close the door!  Or better yet, tell the whole family it’s reading time and have everyone read a book of their choice!

Journal!  This is an odd time for everyone and we all process things differently.  Sometimes getting feelings out onto paper is very freeing.  You don’t need a fancy journal, just any paper or notebook will do, but if you want to get a journal you can find all sorts of pretty ones online!  If nothing else, you can type a journal on a word document on the computer!  It’s all up to you!

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Get enough sleep!  This can be hard if you have little kids, but now may be the best time to implement a sleep schedule for them if you haven’t already so you can get the rest you need.  That in itself is work, but it is so worth it and often takes just days if you really stick to your plan.  If you have no kids at home or they are older, don’t feel bad about laying down early or even having a nap if the mood strikes you.

Take a long hot shower or a bubble bath!  I am not a bath person, but I love a ridiculousy long steamy shower with lots of smelly goods.  I’m talking nice body wash, exfoliation, hair mask, and I even find shaving nice because then I used good lotionafter and love my smooth legs in my jammies!

Move your body!  I know exercise sounds like work, but if you can get your body moving for half an hour a day it really helps!  Exercise releases endorphines which make you feel good!  You know what I’m talking about, you don’t want to work out but make yourself go and afterwards you feel GREAT!  You can walk outside, do a little cardio circuit in your living room, learn or practice some yoga which can be found online, or look up whatever type of exercise sounds fun to you on apps or YouTube so you can follow along.  I love to do “power yoga” because it moves faster but is still a lot of stretching, low impact, and no tools are needed.

Call a friend.  Yes, I said the four letter would C-A-L-L.  We are so used to text and messages but we also are not used to being isolated all the time.  Even if it seems scary, it will feel great to catch up with a friend and may do you AND them a lot of good!

 

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There are tons more ways to take just a few minutes to step away from stress and give yourself a little boost but I hope you’ll give one or two of these a try this week.  Even if all you did all day was keep your tiny humans alive, you still deserve a time-out.  Growing a new garden, remodeling your house, and cooking a four-course dinner also warrant a break and huge love button on FB, but don’t assume you don’t deserve a mental health break because you didn’t master that common core math problem on your kids digital learning assignment.  Everyone’s normal is different, so you can only worry about you and what is best for your family.  And again, you can’t pour from an empty cup.  We cannot properly care for others if we have not properly cared for ourselves.  We go above and beyond for everyone else, so why do you deserve any less?

Support Versus Advice

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Social media can be such a magical place.  We can keep up with friends and family no matter where they are!  We can also keep everyone updated on what’s up with us without having to make 200 calls or having our phone ring off the hook with updates from our friends.  I love sharing about my kids, my hubby, my business, my travels, even our pets!  I shared a good bit when momma had her knee surgeries, several times asking for prayers and good juju, which clearly helped because she can outrun me.  I often share if one of the kids is home sick.  I share recipes I love or want to try.  I talk about my constant fight with myself about my weigh and whether I am ok with it or hate it.  Totally different story for another time.  And sometimes I even share if I am down or confused with something.  I love sharing!  I love asking for other’s opinions and hearing other points of view.  I think we are in a bad place once we think we know everything.  But sometimes with all the sharing, folks get confused.

Sometimes when we share, we share not seeking opinions or advice but to share that we are experiencing a rough day or even a rough time.  When we do this, we are seeking comfort, love, virtual hugs.  But with all the sharing and extensive list of “friends” it never fails, we get the, “oh that happened to my kid and we just used some baking soda and Vick’s and it cleared up,” or, “just make them eat,” or my favorite, “it happens all the time, you’ll get past it.”

While some of that advice can be good at times, there is a right and wrong time to interject your opinion or what you feel is helpful advice.  It happens in my business all the time, you go to share something helpful, and folks then comment with all the ways they do something.  Cool, I wasn’t looking for help, I was offering some!  In the last few days I have watched as some FB acquaintances, as well as real friends (yes, there is a difference), have posted about issues in their lives. Not complaints but updates of not-so-awesome-times.  None sought out advice or opinions, they just gave updates.  But so many comments flooded their posts with unsolicited advice or stories of when that happened to them.  I know that in that moment those folks felt like they were helping, but before you type, or speak, ask yourself one important thing:  did they ask a question?

Generally, if someone wants help or advice, they ask a question.  I often ask questions on social media for help or ideas.  But if I post a statement, I usually am just looking to tell a story or maybe snag a few virtual love buttons to know I am not alone.  I have a wonderful hubby and family, but sometimes you share as a stance of solidarity with your mom friends or other women.  I don’t tend to get too detailed on big hairy stuff, but sometimes you just want to put things out there, if nothing else to let others know they’re not alone even if they never posted about it.  And while all my years growing up in the south have helped me learn to let the sure-to-come unsolicited, and sometimes downright crazy, advice roll off my back, in certain circumstances it can make your eye twitch.  And some things these friends have been going through are heavy, exhausting, frustrating, and hard enough to deal with without every Tom, Dick, and Harry telling them they basically have been doing it all wrong and their way is better or how common something is and you’ll get over it.  Instead of advice they don’t want or using their hard time to make it about you and tell YOUR story, try offering support.  Say you feel bad they feel that way.  Say you hate they are dealing with that.  Say you would love to help with something.  Say you are there to talk if they want.  Just say you support them.  A little support goes a long way, much further than the unwanted anecdotes or advice.

So again, next time you feel compelled to “help”, ask yourself that important question of, “did they ask a question?”  This is a HUGE expression of self control to offer support over advice, but believe me, if you offer support and they want your help, they will openly ask you for it!  So instead of the unsolicited advice, just offer them love, comfort, and a shoulder to cry on if necessary.

Push It Good

I am hardly in shape. In fact I have a lot of work to do. But slow progress is still progress. At least that’s what I hear. So when one of my good friends suggested we do a 10k walk/run together I initially told her no. I actually said, “I love you and you’re my hero, but I’d have to be picked up off the street!” She is very convincing, though, so after some back and forth texts, I reluctantly agreed. I also told her I wasn’t sure if she was a good or bad influence…

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For about a month I made sure to go to the gym  and hit the cardio hard, but I honestly should’ve trained a lot harder. As the event got closer, I started to get nervous. I began to overthink the whole thing and had some doubts on if I was going to physically be able to complete this race. A 10k is 6.2 miles all at the same time. When I went to our business conference last month I walked well over that amount daily, but it was over the course of the day with breaks in between for classes and parties and food! I complained online about the 10k so much a friend even reached out to the organizer to see if I could drop down to the 5k…but I told her no, I committed to the 10k and will just have to do it! I mostly didn’t want to let my friend down and make her go alone on a 10k.

I hardly slept the night before the race and when my alarm went off at 4:45am I was definitely rethinking this whole thing. I was up super early on a Saturday with no opportunity to earn money or be going on vacation. In fact, I woke up that early to purposely push my body not to it’s limit, but way past it! What have I done?? I didn’t prepare enough for this! I can’t go that far, not all in the same trek! Oh my gosh! How embarrassing will it be to have to get a ride back?! What will my friend think? Allllll the bad thoughts were racing through my brain, but I’m very well the most stubborn and loyal person ever, so I had to go anyway and keep my word to my friend.

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Here we are right before the race. Once I met up with her for the ride over and listened to her tell me over and over how we were about to rock this 10k I started to feel better and believe her! Plus, again, super stubborn so I had to just suck it up and do it, even it if meant crawling back. So, we did the group warm-up and lined up at the start line and just like that, we were in a 10k!

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We had a beautiful track. Basically it was a river walk and mostly flat. It was early so it wasn’t the heat of the day, and we had a nice cool breeze coming from the water. We talked about our lives, we saw crew teams practicing on the river and felt glad to not be working that hard, we sang and listened to music, and before we knew it we had already gone halfway!

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We had kept a good pace and even jogged a bit! We found the more we slowed down, the harder it was, so we either jogged or power walked. It was like slowing down made us lose momentum even though we were getting tired. So we tried to keep moving with quicker strides. Then we made it to the final big race marker which left less than 2 miles for us to make it to the finish line! We both were shocked how well we felt and were still going! But we weren’t done yet!

I think the closer we got to the end the harder it became. Not because we were tired but because we were excited to be done! Sort of like the week leading up to a vacation, you know how it seems like the longest week ever? We had tackled the longest part already, but just wanted to be at the finish line and it was so close, yet seemed so far away still. But, together we rallied, turned up some carefully chosen jams to pump us up and we just kept encouraging each other.

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Suddenly we could see it, the finish line! I think it seemed like it was even farther away the closer it became. She told me before we even started that no matter what, we had to jog across the finish line. My legs were burning, I had a cramp not just in my side but all across my stomach, and my shirt was soaked with a bad mix of humidity and sweat. But, I told I her I would jog across with her. As we got closer I saw a marker and said we will start the jog there. I took a few deep breaths leading up to the marker and then when we hit it, we both took off running, up a small hill no less! Once we crossed the finish line, we both high-fived and then stopped to breathe. It hurt to stop moving. Once we stopped, the adrenaline stopped and pain set in! We made our way up to grab a drink and a snack provided by the organizer and some wonderful sponsors. We hung around to hear the winners, even though we knew it wouldn’t be us, and hear some of the announcements.

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We did it. We both finished a 10k, our first 10k. Oddly enough we were all smiles! Sweaty, tired, but smiley! I was so proud of her, she was so proud of me, and we were both proud of ourselves!

Most folks were unsure why I would even attempt to do this even though I wasn’t ready and could have just as easily supported this organization by doing the 5k or even just making a donation. This was a test. Not a physical one, either. Follow me here…

Most of us limit our beliefs to what we have already done or accomplished. We assume because we haven’t done something it’s not possible, or even that we have to spend countless hours and days learning or prepping for something we want. I needed to push myself. Yes, some of the push was physical, but most of it was mental. You’d be surprised what your body will do if you think you can do it. I had to tell myself I had to finish, not try to finish or want to finish but HAD to finish. No option. Was it going to be hard, yes, but my poor self-talk leading up to it only made it harder. I had to change my brain in the hours leading up to the race and during the race to stop with the doubts and make myself believe I could do it. I relied on the encouragement of my friend as well as my own positive thoughts to push me to keep going. I told myself over and over I was going to finish and be able to say I completed a 10k. This was also a chance to test and prove a few theories…

1. Surrounding yourself with people who are not only positive but willing to push you and walk beside you are so important. Find your real squad, even it’s it just one or two people, and never let them go.

2. If you think you can you’re right, if you think you can’t you’re right. You decide what you can and can’t do, so why not tell yourself you can?

3. Winging it is ok. You don’t have to do all the training and prepping to actually do the thing. If you spend too much time planning, when are you just going to do it? Don’t spend so much time prepping you don’t try things. Sometimes the best lessons are mistakes. And wonky experiences are still better than no experience at all.

4. Be willing to look silly. Nobody wants to be around a know-it-all or someone who looks like they’re ready for their cover shoot all the time. Real is better than perfect. When in doubt, wear the tutu. The right people will gravitate to you regardless of how you or your house looks.

5. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your bestie. You would be nothing but encouraging to her, so why are you mentally pooping on yourself? Your thoughts become your belief, so why not believe you’re a badass unicorn goddess??

So go forth and find your squad, change your mind, wing it, look silly, and be that badass unicorn goddess I know you are! I’ll be doing the same!

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Skincare is a Sham!

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I was scrolling along the other day on FB and ran across a video of a woman claiming to be the dermatologists worst nightmare.  She had a very well put-together video showing how she only used water to “wash” her face and how skincare is just a scheme to make money.  I watched the whole video to see what kind of examples she provided and why she felt she was the expert.  I was not impressed.

Her claims were that for hundreds of years we haven’t needed any skincare and have been just fine.  She even went on to say skin repairs itself and that by using skincare, we just become reliant upon it and the skincare industry preys upon women to buy into the claims of healthy and youthful skin.  She never did give any credentials so as far as I know, she was some woman with a fancy camera who needed attention.  Some of what she said was true, but let’s get into this a tad more, shall we?

For hundreds of years women have used anything from egg whites to avocado to help the texture and appearance of their skin.  I found a separate article for you to check out at your leisure to highlight some of the odd things women have been doing for years.  Click here to view it!  We have all heard about ancient beauty secrets of the Greek, Chinese, and Egyptians, right?  I wonder if she missed history class.  A simple Google search or a trip to the hardly-spoken-of library will produce tons of different trick used for centuries for your skin, hair, nails, and of course the ancient cosmetics!  Egyptians had some amazing makeup and I don’t think department stores were a thing during Cleopatra’s reign, but maybe I’m wrong?

Healthy skin DOES repair itself.  However, we live in a time with more UV rays than ever, pollution, and frankly most us of have a poor diet and with age it breaks down naturally.  Hundreds of years ago, even just around a hundred years ago, diets consisted of mostly vegetables and grains that were grown without any additives, pesticides, treatments, etc and we only consumed meat on special occasions.  Now don’t get me wrong, I am a self-proclaimed Meatatarian, so I am not suggesting we do away with meat in our diet.  I also am not saying you must consume meat, I love my vegan friends!  But what is a stark contrast is the way our veggies and meats are raised, handled, and distributed.  Even with organic farming on the rise, they still use pesticides and deal with elements that just were not present a hundred years ago.  Also, with trendy diets popular, adding or restricting types of foods can affect your skin as well.  Let’s not even get into the amount of water we consume, or should I say don’t consume…

Pollution has become part of our world whether we like it or not.  Years ago there were no power plants, gasoline cars, smoke stacks, you know, icky stuff making our air quality bad.  These pollutants not only affect the air, but anything that comes in contact with it, like our skin…and of course our lungs when we breathe it in but you get my point.  These pollutants we deal with wreak havoc on our skin because it not only is our largest organ, but the largest exposed one!  Our skin is the first point of contact with pollution so of course this causes problems.  Pollution is more detrimental to our skin than our own genetics in some cases and we now have a line specifically for that.  Check it out here!

With all the pollution and global warming has come stronger UV rays.  Sunblock or SPF is skincare and I think most of us can easily agree that we must protect our skin daily from these harmful rays (except my sister who is a sun goddess and refuses sunblock of any kind, but she knows it is bad).  Even in winter, our skin is susceptible to the harmful rays and thanks to science, we now know it causes advanced premature aging and sometimes sadly, cancer.  And not to bring up old stuff, but a hundred years ago the paler your skin, the higher your social class so they knew avoiding the sun was important, they just didn’t have a remedy for UV rays at that time.  I recommend a good day cream like Anew for your daytime wear on your face which is exposed really year round.  You should also protect any exposed skin like arms or legs during the warmer months with a good SPF for the body.  I love this one for the kids and I.

Another difference is we now have the science to not only discover skincare issues ranging from loss of collagen to plaque psoriasis, we have the science to create products to target and treat such issues versus smashing an egg on your face or slathering in guacamole.  Now, understand this, just because it is from science doesn’t always mean it’s not natural.  Loads of products are available that are completely or almost completely natural.  There are also loads of products that a super-smart scientist cooked up but if it’s available to be purchased you better believe it has been tested, tested again, and retested.  And while some folks like to spread bad info, most beauty companies have stopped animal testing for a while now.  I am proud my company doesn’t (check out this info to back that up) and I am equally proud that so many other beauty companies have done away with this practice as well!

Oh and I almost forgot, she never washed her face and boasted using water only.  With all the things I have listed, plus the fact most of us use cosmetics of some kind and cook (yes when you cook oils, residue, and even smells from the food jump onto your skin and clothes) I hardly think water alone will remove that residue.  Now, soap is bad for your skin, particularly your face.  Wait, but I just said water alone is bad and now I am telling you soap is bad, too?  Yes, soap will strip healthy oils and bacteria from your skin causing more harm than good.  However, there are cleansers for your face and body that are soap and alcohol free but will clean dirt, grime, makeup, and yes, food residue without stripping it down!  My favorite for my face is this great foamy wash!

So there ya have it, my two cents.  I suppose it may not change anyone’s mind, just like that fun video claiming skincare was a sham didn’t change mine, but I wanted my voice heard just like hers was!  If you are with me on skincare, check out this fun quiz to see which products suit you best!  As always, any feedback is welcome and encouraged!

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International Women’s Day; A Company for Women

International Women’s Day is today, March 8th, 2019. In that spirit I wanted to share this story of mine, a woman, who changed the trajectory of her life. Over six years ago I joined this wonderful company just for a little extra as I had a full time corporate job in the medical field. I even had a team of employees under me and it was a pretty hectic and stressful position and I found my business to be a fun thing “just” for me. As with many corporate companies we merged and had some major changes within the organization. It did not feel like the place I had started at and the work was no longer fulfilling but just extremely stressful and that was passed to my husband and children most days, not intentionally of course. Although I was miserable, I earned a VERY nice salary so I couldn’t just walk away. I saw others successful in my business and thought to myself, “if they can do this FT, so can I.” That was my “AHA” moment as we Direct Sellers call it. That was January 2014. In August of 2016, I handed in my notice to the company I had been with over ten years, with the blessing of my husband, after ensuring I had built my business enough to let go of that salary (no more childcare costs helped a tad with that). It’s now March 2019, and I have enjoyed earning a good income, three exotic vacations (all free), endless goodies, lots of rewards and recognition, lots of traveling, and have made some of the best friends I have ever known in my loyal customers and my fabulous teammates. If you had told me in 2012 I would no longer be in a corporate position and doing my little side hustle FT, I would have laughed hysterically right in your face. Little did I know at that time what that small investment would mean for me later. What if $25 could completely change your life??  I cannot promise you can quit your job or earn FT, that’s up to you, but I can show you how I did. If you need to pay a bill or need a change in career or anything in between, I’d love to chat!

If you are ready, click here to start your new journey.  Cheers to all the women out there!

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6 in 6

This is a quickie, literally!  So, I’m feeling a little exposed that I’m sharing my nakey face, but to show you how amazing a quick and easy makeup application can be it was sort of necessary.  Check out below to see how I went from drab to fab with six simple products that took me less than six minutes to apply!  And then keep reading to see which products I used!

 

❤️True Color Cream to Powder Foundation in Light Beige $8.99 Click HERE to check it out

❤️Love at 1st Lash Mascara in Blackest Black $12 right now Click HERE to check it out

❤️Glimmerstick Brow in Blonde $2.99 right now Click HERE to check it out

❤️True Color Transforming Contour Stick in Light $9.99 Click HERE to check it out

❤️True Color Dazzle Drops You Can Get it Free Click HERE to find out how (only good until 2/28/19)

❤️True Color Lip Glow in Aura $8 Click HERE to see all 21 shades

This was a quick and simple look for the busy lady  who wants to pull together a fresh face with a small pop of color before leaving the house!  Don’t wait too long to check them out, prices are subject to change with each campaign!  To view the total store go here!

Be sure to plug in with me on Facebook here!

You can catch me in Insta here!

I would love feedback on the products and the look so leave me a like and comments are even better!

Does makeup spark joy or insecurity?

lipsticksI enjoy listening the radio while I work.  Since I work from home most days, I get to listen to the station I love and crank it up loud!  But first thing in the morning they have more of a talk-show with a dash of music then later in the day switch to more music.  I love the morning show and the variety of people and opinions they have.  One in particular I can relate to as she is a curvy gal and discusses it and body-positivity a good bit.  There are plenty of things I don’t always agree with her on, however, and today I was a definitely torn on her discussion.  She mentioned that she wanted to come clean about how she felt like a liar for using her platform and saying she wore makeup for herself and not for others for several years now as part of her “love yourself” commentary.  She went on to say that she does in fact wear makeup to please others as she feels she gets a different reaction from people when she doesn’t wear makeup, but joked that she did not wear it for her husband.  Oddly enough, not long after that, a good friend was posting on FB that she couldn’t find any of her eye makeup as she just moved and was panicked that she was about to meet new ladies while attending her child’s school activities for Valentine’s Day.  Myself and several others tried to reassure her that she was beautiful without it as she was not one to wear it daily anyway.  In fact, I hardly ever saw her with makeup and she always seems so confident and and gorgeous to me!

All this got me thinking.  Were we all fooling ourselves?  Do we feel it necessary to wear makeup or do some of us really just enjoy it?  I certainly can’t speak for anyone but myself but I love putting makeup on and wear it everyday, whether I see people or not.  Again, most days I work from the comfort of home so it’s just me and the fur babies the majority of the day.  However, I will say I refuse to leave my house without any makeup on my face!  Even if I go to the gym, which legit is not much at this point, I always apply some mascara.  Not a full face, no foundation or cover up, just mascara to make me look like I am not asleep or the walking dead (the curse of fair skin and light hair with blue eyes).  Do I know one single person at the gym? Not unless you count my mom who has seen me in a hospital bed post c-section so she knows what it all really looks like.  Do I look like a troll in my workout clothes that are very unforgiving on my shape and get all sweaty and gross and splotchy?  Oh yeah…so why the mascara?  Is it because I think that swipe of color is going to somehow takeaway from the rest of the grossness post-workout?  I know I am blonde, but I really am not THAT dense.  I go workout with the knowledge I will look rough but I am there to improve how I feel about myself, not to impress the folks there that I may not ever see again and likely do not realize I even exist.  I swipe the mascara because I like it.  I don’t have to impress anyone BUT my husband who says I am beautiful with or without makeup (I know, he is so smart lol).

If anything, I feel that for me, makeup is not so much an armor as the radio gal said but a mood-adjuster.  I wear makeup when I am home alone because I like the way I feel with it on.  I sometimes feel insecure about a number of things and that brings down my confidence level, but because I leave my house in a nice outfit, my hair fixed, and of course makeup I feel ready to tackle things.  Which leads me to a great point, if you wear makeup to impress others are you also wearing nice clothes for others?  Do you comb your hair or even color it for others?  Do you wear your favorite perfume for others?  Do you wear jewelry for others?  For me, these are all a big fat no!  I do these things because I think showing I take pride in my appearance is a sign of who I am as a person.  I don’t completely have life figured out, but I was raised to act and look for the part you want but treat everyone you meet with respect and dignity.  I want to be successful, so I take time to look nice.  I am certainly not an expert on makeup application and not model material (not even for the curvy gals, I walk funny and am too silly).  And I color my hair because I was blonde the majority of my life then kids and hormones changed it to a dirty blonde and I just feel like a light blonde personality (it really is a state of mind just like my brunette friends are sultry and sassy)!  Now, if the occasion calls for it, I am fairly certain I could go to a meeting in my favorite pant suit with no makeup on my face and still handle it like a lady boss, but that’s because I know ultimately I am intelligent, I am brave, I deserve the best, and I go into all situations as prepared as humanly possible.

Now, I have loads of friends that never wear makeup and only own lip balm but they still take time to dress nice, even if it’s a good pair of jeans and a t-shirt.  These non-makeup-wearing friends also usually have their hair fixed, even if that means combed and straight.  Lots of friends who do or do not wear makeup wear jewelry to accent their mood and their outfit and last time I checked, a bracelet won’t add contour to your face and is it necessary to impress anyone?  I put perfume on because I like the smell, just like I put makeup on because I like it how makes my eyes pop!  My point is, most people have a series of things they do as part of their daily routine or some do certain things for special occasions only and all that matters to them, and to me, is if it makes US feel good, not everyone else.  If you work on the beauty you have inside that will shine on the outside every single time.  If you have self-doubt and feel bad about yourself for some reason, physical or otherwise, no amount of makeup will change your life.  Beauty truly is is the eye of the beholder and I feel beautiful even on the days I have less makeup on or have a breakout or I can keep going but you get it.  You have to FEEL beautiful before you can ever look beautiful.  I think to say you feel you must wear makeup for others is somehow actually more damaging than just wearing it.  Just like I feel that women who stress you shouldn’t wear makeup are showing their own negative opinion toward those who do.  I say do what makes you happy whether that includes makeup or not!  If you feel empowered by going nakey face DO IT!  If you feel empowered with a perfect winged liner and a bold lip DO IT!  And for the record, I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to look pretty for my husband but even less wrong with wanting to look pretty for me.  Makeup does not define me as a person so I truly don’t feel I wear it for others anymore than why I shower everyday.  Most folks wouldn’t know if I did or didn’t shower but I still do it so I feel clean and fresh!  See, there’s me only caring about what I think again!  My gosh I am selfish!

So, do you wear makeup, or any beauty enhancers, for you or for others and why?  Do you feel folks that wear makeup daily are superficial, why or why not?  I would love to hear some other viewpoints on this since I am not the only voice of women.  Perhaps I misunderstand the thinking here.  I think some open dialogue may shed some light on why we feel the way we do!  And just know this, you do not NEED makeup, hair color, or fancy clothes to be beautiful, you already are, even if you don’t know it yet!